When your friends get boyfriends, you start making bad life choices….

Alright, everyone. Here is it. Big confession.

I blew it. I went on a date. I KNOW. But let give first give you my list of excuses. I’m lonely! My best lady friends have abandoned me for boys and let me tell you, it is way harder to find new girl friends than it is to get dates. This should be the opposite. But it’s not. Our modern world makes connecting with people of the opposite gender so easy. Maybe I’m just missing all the “find true friendship” sites…but I feel like that’s where desperate people would linger and not super awesome cool kids like myself who just happened to have lost all friends at once due to relationship status changes out of their control. Maybe some of you know of places where I can meet some cool, preferably SINGLE, ladies who are not desperate, just in need of some good old fashioned lady friends. ANYWHO, I’m getting off track. So. I went on a date. Because I miss my ladies. And this was my solution. 

And a bad solution it was. AWKWARD. I’d been chatting with this guy from Match.com for about a week, I guess. Our schedules were both a little busy so meeting up was hard. But finally we secured a night. And he asked me to a movie. I should have said no. I should have said, “Let’s do coffee instead!” or ANYTHING that would have put us face-to-face, in a well-light room so we could actually talk. Sitting next to a strange guy in a dark theater where you really shouldn’t talk is really awkward. What’s even MORE awkward is when this guy you JUST MET IN REAL LIFE LIKE THIRTY MINUTES AGO reaches out and holds your hand. I was so uncomfortable that it almost hurt. It did actually hurt. I was in awkward pain. THEN, because he obviously couldn’t tell that this was a bad move from my limp hand and rigid posture, he puts his arm around me and pulls me over. So I have to do the awkward lean (which is super uncomfortable unless the guy is like 6’6″) AND my body is STILL rigid because I’m hating every moment of this. Finally, after about two minutes, I can’t handle it. I pulled away. I leaned all the way over to the other side of my chair and just told him that I’m not really into being physical with a guy I just met. Yuck. Blech. WHY?! 

He was cute-ish and seemed pretty normal, but I just didn’t feel anything. He’s texted me a couple times since the awkward date but I quit responding. I just still feel icky from his touchy-feelings and I’m just not that into him, I think. 

So, please. Help me find some lady friends! I don’t want to go on any more awkward dates just for something to do on a week night!

I have actually decided to take a sewing machine class this summer. Broadening my skills and hobbies. I have always wanted to be able to sew quick little pieces for myself…and I decided to DO IT. Maybe I’ll meet some old ladies who will be my new friends and we can have sewing circle get-togethers on the weekends. With tea. I don’t like tea. I’ll drink a Coke. But we’ll have fun. I’ll meet some new cats. Hear stories about when they rolled bandages for the war. 

Ok, and you know what? Before one of my besties got back with an old beau, we went on a local kayaking trip with an outfitter, with a group of strangers, and that was pretty fun. I feel like I could meet some more people that way. It costs moolah, but it might be worth it. At least I’ll have some fun on the weekends, even if I don’t make friends. I will just do fun things, alone, near other people, and make scrapbooks of my adventures with strangers. It’ll all be okay….right?

This date reminded me that I don’t like going out with new guys. Having to get to know someone, which is the best part for a lot of people, is actually my least favorite part. I want to know someone already! I want us to be best friends and travel the world. 

Haha, it’s funny when one of my little mice is running in a ball and hits a wall. Oops! Did it again. Hahaha! Never gets old. (This is why I’m single.)

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Redirecting My Focus and Drive

So, a few weeks ago, I was SO into work. I was making project lists and all sorts of plans because my boss had told me that I was going to be able to implement them shortly. And, as you know, that did not pan out. So after a couple weeks of being super sad and angry I finally got over it. How? By just not thinking about any of it. They want me to relieve people. So that is what I will do. No more crazy aspirations or dreams. I will just do my best the one to two days that I’m in each section, and leave it at that. 

My goal is a great workout regimen. I printed out some awesome weight lifting record sheets for me and my workout buddy so we can actually track our progress and, most importantly, freaking remember how much weight we’re using for each move!! Every time we lift, when we start a new week (and repeat the moves from last week), we can never remember how much we used the week before. Which means that we’re not necessarily improving. But no more! 

I’m also going to study our gym schedule and make a workout routine based on the classes available so that we do three cardio workouts a week and then we can throw in three days of lifting any time – since we don’t need a class to lift. 

The hardest part, ALWAYS, is diet. I’m SO lazy when it comes to making food. I think it’s because when I get off work every day, I’m dead tired. I just want to put food in my mouth as quickly as possible, shower, and pass out. Which means that I have NO energy or any care to make a great, healthy meal. I just feel like I will die NOW if I don’t get FOOD NOW. So that’s my big goal right now: change my diet for good. Forever. Become the eater I have always wanted to be. My weight wouldn’t be an issue AT ALL if I could just eat the things I should. 

I’m still distracted by work – I work multiple areas a week, which means I work with a huge variety of species, and I want to research ALL of them all the time! And that takes time and brain power. So I find myself torn between reading primate books and researching healthy and easy meals. I know it’s possible to do both. I’m just one of those people who obsesses over something and not much else can get through my brain when I’m in that mode. 

But I can do it!! I can be awesome. I can lose weight. I have already cut down on my work worries by probably 75%+. And, boy, does it feel good.