I am the worst at things.
Seriously. Everyone else I know can do everything and anything. They make money, they get boyfriends/girlfriends, they workout regularly, they don’t eat fast food every night, they’re not always telling themselves they have a crazy disease.
How did I end up with the short end of the stick?
I think I think too much. Or I think about the wrong stuff. On top of that, I have this little problem. If it’s not perfect, I want to give up. No room for mistakes, missteps, or shortcomings. If it wasn’t perfect, it’s not worth even trying anymore.
That’s dumb. I know. But it’s really hard to overcome. Accepting “good enough” or “okay” is SO hard. Especially in today’s culture. Everyone seems perfect in magazines, on social media, everywhere. Everyone is bragging about their lives, or the great things their kids are accomplishing, or the cool things they can afford to buy.
I get it. It’s all a facade. Not everyone’s life is perfect all the time. Pretty much no one has a perfect life. I just feel like I shouldn’t get stuck the way I do. I am educated. I am fairly intelligent. I’m social and get along with people. I can flirt with the best of them.
Yet, here I am. Failing at this blog. Eating too much fast food. Not losing any weight (probably gaining more). Not working out regularly. Basically, I’m not achieving any of my goals. And I feel like I have given up. I’ve let myself go. Because I failed this year, I’ll just have to wait for a new beginning.
But that is BULL PUCKY! I can start now! I can workout. I can stop eating horrible food. I can continue this blog. I’m going to be that little engine that could. The only person getting in my way is myself. There is not another single person who is stopping me. In fact, I have more people wishing me well and willing to do things like workout with me.
Guys, I’m so tired and lazy. After I get off work (YAY FOR EMPLOYMENT!!!!), I’m starving. Which makes it VERY hard to make it home without stopping at one of the hundreds of fast food joints along the way. So then I eat a huge pile of crap. So then I feel like crap and I’m full and working out will have to wait until some of this food leaves my stomach. Oh, but then I get too tired waiting for that time to come. So then I give up.
Bad Alicia! Bad.
My favorite class at the gym right now is called BodyAttack. It’s so fun! It’s full of movement, music, shortness of breath, running, jumping. I feel so great after each class. Unfortunately there is only one that I can attend during the whole week! So I need to find something equally as appealing the other days. And I still need to get into a weight lifting routine. Why is that so hard to do? I guess I just want someone to tell me what to do and how much weight to do it with. Oh, wait. There’s a class for that, too. They don’t quite tell you how much weight to use, they make suggestions, but they do tell you how to lift it. So, I guess I’m out of excuses….