For the past few years, my weight has fluctuated. Actually, my weight has been fluctuating most of my life. Since 7th grade, really. It goes up, it goes down. It stays within a small range for a while. Sometimes it shoots up. Sometimes is falls down.
In the last two years, the only times I’ve had significant weight loss is when I get “dumped.” (I put that in quotations because I’ve never had an official boyfriend.) So I got really skinny really fast – but I didn’t look fit. I haven’t looked fit since I ran the year after college.
I’m the one in the purple top. This is after one of those “break-up” times when I didn’t eat a whole lot. Not SKINNY…but super skinny for ME.
Here’s the skinniest I think I’ve ever been. And, I’m not going to lie, I loved being that size. I felt like I looked so much better in all photos, all clothes, everything. Maybe I can get back there, healthily, by working out and eating right – instead of just not eating at all because I’m devastated, haha.
Now here are some pictures from when I ran/worked out regularly. You can see it in the leg muscles.
Now, what’s the point of all this you ask? Well, my friends, the point is that I’m gearing up to put my “before” picture up. It’s a picture I took today. In a bikini. I’ve had to buy bigger pants this past month – even bigger underwear!!! I haven’t been eating well AT ALL and I haven’t been active AT ALL and it has finally caught up to me.
This is a very scary prospect for me. I know TONS of women put before and after photos up on the internet every day. And I love those photos. They’re so inspiring because they show real people getting real results. They’re images we can actually aspire to in this world of Photoshop and marketing lies.
But here’s why mine is scary: mine is from today. There will be no immediate “after” photo. It’s just me, my flab….laying it all out there. I’m going to use this as HUGE motivation. Because if I don’t workout and eat right, there will be no hot-lady-after-photo for me to show you. You’re just going to be left with this very unflattering image of a girl who is very out of shape and loves chips and sweets (and, full disclosure, I’ve become a little addicted to soda).
So I’m going to psych myself up just a little bit more, put the photos together. The only editing I am doing it brightening (I took them in a room with terrible lighting), cropping, and Pic-Stitching. And then BAM. You will see. Eeek. Lord, help me!