Redirecting My Focus and Drive

So, a few weeks ago, I was SO into work. I was making project lists and all sorts of plans because my boss had told me that I was going to be able to implement them shortly. And, as you know, that did not pan out. So after a couple weeks of being super sad and angry I finally got over it. How? By just not thinking about any of it. They want me to relieve people. So that is what I will do. No more crazy aspirations or dreams. I will just do my best the one to two days that I’m in each section, and leave it at that. 

My goal is a great workout regimen. I printed out some awesome weight lifting record sheets for me and my workout buddy so we can actually track our progress and, most importantly, freaking remember how much weight we’re using for each move!! Every time we lift, when we start a new week (and repeat the moves from last week), we can never remember how much we used the week before. Which means that we’re not necessarily improving. But no more! 

I’m also going to study our gym schedule and make a workout routine based on the classes available so that we do three cardio workouts a week and then we can throw in three days of lifting any time – since we don’t need a class to lift. 

The hardest part, ALWAYS, is diet. I’m SO lazy when it comes to making food. I think it’s because when I get off work every day, I’m dead tired. I just want to put food in my mouth as quickly as possible, shower, and pass out. Which means that I have NO energy or any care to make a great, healthy meal. I just feel like I will die NOW if I don’t get FOOD NOW. So that’s my big goal right now: change my diet for good. Forever. Become the eater I have always wanted to be. My weight wouldn’t be an issue AT ALL if I could just eat the things I should. 

I’m still distracted by work – I work multiple areas a week, which means I work with a huge variety of species, and I want to research ALL of them all the time! And that takes time and brain power. So I find myself torn between reading primate books and researching healthy and easy meals. I know it’s possible to do both. I’m just one of those people who obsesses over something and not much else can get through my brain when I’m in that mode. 

But I can do it!! I can be awesome. I can lose weight. I have already cut down on my work worries by probably 75%+. And, boy, does it feel good.

The Importance of the Workout Buddy

Some people can, and love to, work out on their own. I am not one of these people. I was in school sports from 8th grade through my sophomore year of college. After I quit college track (shin splints), I played games and ran around with a couple of guy friends who’d also quit track. After college I worked out regularly with my friend M’Leigh, and sometimes my apartment building buddy *Brad. M’Leigh and I would laugh and chat, making our workouts more like social time. We didn’t even notice that we were working out anymore – and yet we totally ran those five miles just now.

Well, the time has come again! I found two workout buddies. One, my brother, has been trying to get me to go to the gym with him for a long time. He even got me my sweet gym membership deal a looooong time ago. But I just wouldn’t ever go. I didn’t want to lift weights like he was, and I hated wandering the busy gym alone. It was scary. Well, now that I’ve been working out pretty regularly all month, and attending classes at my gym, I’m not so scared. And I do actually want to do the workouts my brother is doing. The other buddy is my friend Sam. I convinced her to join Gold’s Gym but she got a level above me and consistently goes to a gym that is in that level – meaning she could workout with me at MY gym but I couldn’t workout with her gym.

Well, it was “bring a friend” week last week so I tried out her (crazy aerobic) Zumba class and came to the realization that her gym was way lamer than mine – but it cost more money. The next week she finally came to my gym for a random class (something called Body Jam with some super fun instructors – it was reminiscent of Zumba) and she, too, realized how much nicer my gym was. So I think I finally converted her! She’ll be going to her gym for Zumba with her fave instructor, but I think I can get her to join me for classes and the like more often. Yay!

Sam and I after an intense Zumba sesh at her Gold's gym.

Sam and I after an intense Zumba sesh at her Gold’s gym.

I have also gone to two Camp Gladiator workouts with my friend Bethany. Even if we don’t partner up for buddy-exercises at the camp, just arriving together is enough. And leaving together, high on endorphins, ready to devour some sammiches. That’s my kind of buddy system.

Speaking of workout buddies, my bro is headed to the gym now so I think I have to get off my lazy bum and go join him. Yaaay…..

Catching Up

What is up, my homies?

So many good things are happening! Ok, so I’ve had some ups and downs the past couple of weeks. I made out TWICE with the boy who most recently rejected me. ONE DAY after the last time I made out with him, Jeremy, Corbin called me up to hang out and I got drunk and made out with HIM! And then I wanted him, bad. He’s the closest I have ever come to having someone like me back and want to date me. And he’s so sexy. (TALL. Cute butt in dem jeans.) So I was pining away after Corbin, allowing me to get over Jeremy…then I got over Corbin. SO, I’m currently on track! I have not been on a date this year. I have kissed two boys who I have previously gone out with. I had some minor pining over each of them – but I am good and moving on! BOOM!

Then my mother and my brother helped me go through my one-bedroom-apartment’s worth of stuff in the garage (since it weirdly won’t fit into the single bedroom that I currently call my own) and I got rid of so much shizz! I still have a few boxes to go through, including my room, but I am on a ROLE. When things have been stashed away in boxes for five years (and in another state for three), it’s really easy to disassociate feelings with things and just get rid of it all. It was fun to rifle through some things from my first post-college job. (My first real job – out of the only two I’ve had.) I found lots of pretty doodles I’d done during meetings, lots of hilarious quotes from coworkers that I’d written down, cute little notes from coworkers and the like. I found sweet gems I’d forgotten I had. And it made me super excited to FREAKIN’ GET MY OWN PLACE so’s I can put up all my framed pictures, art, etc! My place is going to be so fun looking. So ME. Though, how could it look any other way. Decluttering isn’t just good for your home/storage space, it’s good for the soul. I feel like I’ve sloughed off some layers of dead skin. 

Last week I spent a day with one of my best friends, Sam. We went shopping (I bought nothing because I’m unemployed), we watched a little Grey’s Anatomy, we did some Zumba (with the perkiest male Zumba instructor ever – a first for me), and then we PAINTED! I hadn’t painted (anything besides walls – personal walls and work walls) since I lived in Nebraska (read: nearly five years ago) but it was a great experience. I painted flamingos (of course). One of them came out kind of derpy, the first one I painted, but the other one looked nice. I found a photograph online of some flams and just copied that. Image

My favorite part is the shadows. Now, I know this is very elementary, so no judging. It was painted just for fun. 🙂

I’m working out! I did a bunch of lifting with my “little” bro yesterday. My 10 pound weights looked ridiculously small next to the 85 pounders he was using, but since he’s my bro, I didn’t feel even a little intimidated. And since I was in the gym working out with such a beast, the gym itself didn’t intimidate me. Ever since my two Zumba classes, I already feel less intimidated by my gym. I also know my gym is a really good one, after doing Zumba at my friend’s (more expensive) gym. Mine is way better. (Both are Gold’s but her’s is a former-Spectrum/Ruby Level. Mine is just Gold Level.) So I plan on using my brother as a free trainer. He’s very motivating. No bullshit. When I whine about how heavy the weight is or that I want to stop, he just yells at me. Because he can. And I listen, while continuing to whine, because I can. 

Ok, related to the working out- I got weighed this morning at the doctor’s office, pre-eating, and it was high, my friends. I knew I’d gained a bunch of weight since I needed bigger pants, but putting a number on it just was a real slap to the face. My average weight, when being active and/or working an active, full-time job, is between 135 and 140. I’m very used to 135 being my goal weight to stay at. 137 at the most. Well, over the past couple of weeks, thanks to working out, better diet, and loss of appetite due to illness, I have lost a few pounds. When I was weighed this morning, I was 146. That means I was at LEAST 150 at my heaviest. Maybe more. People. I have never weighed 150. EVER. I really let myself go. I started this blog and renewed my workout initiative JUST. IN. TIME. Almost twenty pounds?! That’s like a pregnant lady. I did not have a child. This is inexcusable. And I know all that weight was bad. It was not muscle. I was getting weaker by the minute. It was all flab. All fast food. All crap. Dang, son. Dang. 

Tonight I’m finally going to Camp Gladiator. My other best friend got me a month of Camp Gladiator for Christmas, and it’s only good for January. Well, the first week I was able to go, I got sick. Stuck-in-bed sick. Last week I didn’t have car access very much. I’m still sharing with my family, so I use it whenever I can. But it’s rare. This week I have car access so I finally get to go! But that means I only got to use 2 out of 4 weeks of my gift. BOOOO. It was out of our control – neither of us saw my loss of car/illness coming, but still. It’s annoying. I don’t want to waste such an excellent gift. 

Yesterday evening I went to a birthday party for a two-year old. I wouldn’t have missed it because I love this kid and his family. And I don’t actually feel awkward being the only single/child-less attendee, but I always wonder what the other adults (who all come with a spouse and at least one child) are thinking. Of course, when they find out that the kids’ mom and I went to college and have known each other for almost a decade (I just realized today that it really has been that long. I met Lauren my freshman year, which started in 2005), they’re like, “Ohhh, ok. I thought maybe you were a neighbor.” Because, how else could I know Lauren if I don’t have children? How could we have ever met? What in the world do we have in common? Lots, dang it! We ran track together, we’re both Lutheran. Whatever. I do have fun at these kids’ parties, though. I mean, I love the kiddos and the adults that come are very fun, too. But I definitely stick out without a husband by my side and a kid on my hip. Suck it. Children love me.

I’ve been procrastinating on my Ornithology reading. The feathers chapter is daunting because I remember how hard it was for me to read two years ago – even though what I’ve read so far isn’t intimidating – and my mom has a three-day weekend so she keeps dragging me around to do things. Plus I’ve just been lazy. No excuses! 

Well, tonight is a busy one. I’m walking/feeding dogs for my part-time boss, hopefully doing Camp Gladiator with a best friend, and then my social volleyball team has a game at nearly 10 pm. Woop! Unemployed but still busy! Love it.